March 21st, 2000

Night Dream

It took place at work, where as per usual she was warding off men, including one fellow who was staff, a suited security man who was utterly unperturbed, fully confident he’d have her as if this were immutable fact. The manager (who knew better) tried to warn him, “Watch out! She has quills you don’t expect.” -To no avail. She was being trailed in addition on her exit by a black man, and decided to slow herself deliberately so he’d be safely dealt with by being accosted by the overzealous security. As she picked up her things on the way out the door, Billy walked inside. She didn’t register shock or surprise, finished putting on her things. He’d simply come, for the first time, to take her home; it so happened this had happened at work; he’d found her at last. Her accoutrements were red; the coat was a very heavy woolen trench coat in navy. As she put it on she noticed it was well cut but very dirty.

Outside things took a very different turn. It was a brown leaf strewn autumn, and all the trees (by her Canadian standard) were small and stunted, and all their trunks were black. Outside she fumbled for his hand in haste, gripped it secure like she would never let go. It had taken too much time for this moment. Her breath was racing to the point of almost gasping; she found she could not stop it. The need was too deep; everything was immediate. They were standing on a small earthen bridge spanning a trickling stream; it was not enough to be there, facing. She reached up to kiss his cheek, his neck. He laid her down on the bridge, undid the coat collar, scarf. And then he turned away and went and knelt by the stream, putting his hands in the water. What?

Day Dream

The day dream was just as intense, beginning in a pool of companions best described as a commune in a mansion, but the connectivity of the gathering ran far deeper than that. One of the commune members (the leader) was named Nebuchadnezzar. Living there she embarked on a sort of long distance relationship with someone who was turning up outside. She dubbed him the “Beast” in recording the dream because while fully human, his face would shift into a lion’s; often he came as the lion. The relationship was subversive, carried on covertly out of doors, at least at first. Then there was an episode where they were discovered; her in house companions would have killed him; they collapsed the stone wall encircling the grounds on him; it was topped by finials that were spearheads on a wrought iron fence. Though he should have been impaled (with the shaft piercing his brain) he emerged unscathed. After that it became very covert; she didn’t see him again. Later she was alone gathering Easter eggs that were hidden on the mansion grounds. She unwrapped the foil on one to discover it was a complete world. With delight she realized she could now sense him anywhere on the globe, as he in turn knew her; she now knew his love. He sent his salutation to her mind, saying, “You know I never wanted Nebuchadnezzar. I always wanted you.”